This week in pictures

Oh my goodness-I'M SO DISCOURAGED!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
it's seeming more and more impossible that we'll EVER get to move.
Please pray for us-this town is impossible.

All my life i've dreamed of being a mother. Gently guiding, encouraging and leading my children through their life. Teaching, coddling and consoling my daughters. Watching them grow up and serve God. Having them mature into friends.

One thing that wasn't even in my wildest dreams, however, was having to clean up after my 2 year old after she decided to fingerpaint on the wall and on her bed with the contents of a VERY dirty diaper.

Thank God for bleach, bathtubs and soap.

First outfit
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Granmie picture fix

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best friends #?
over a year ago

I'm so sad-i just sold Bella and Hannah's playhouse. We had to sell it-we can't move it with us. Their sleeping-they don't know yet. oh boy. I don't think i'm gonna be able to stand the broken-hearted look on their faces. And i'm sure gonna miss how cute they are playing in it. oh, Lord, let them not be sad, or even care at all!!!!!

In one week:
My landlord died an awful death- he had a heart attack while driving his motorcycle,
I found out one of my friends is getting divorced
And, another person I knew years ago just died-her mom shot her in the head.

Now, obviously, all these things are not as intense for me as, for example, my landlords wife, or the person that is divorcing, or the people that were still close to Lisa, but I'm still pretty shook up. eternity has once again invaded my head space and brought a lot of convicting questions. Am I honoring and loving my husband as much as I possibly can? My children? The friends in my life? God? Am I wasting time, money, gifts, opportunities, etc? Nathan and I got in an awful fight the night before our landlord died, almost the worse fight ever, we didn't talk for hours. And it was very petty. A very wise friend summed it up lately this way- "I don't jsut have time for that anymore" And she's right. A married woman in ministry with three children doesn't have time for anything that's not vital. I'm shocked I even have time for this. I actually don't-my house is a mess but I've been dying to write.

So, I have 2 prayer requests-for two very precious girls. First-Ana. I met her last summer, and she seemed on the verge of diving into the whole Indian/spiritual thing. She decided to go to India last November and my fervant prayer for her was that she'd be horribly disillusioned and come back KNOWING it was bunk. Well, that prayer was answered for about 4-5 months. Then, she was wandering in the woods one day (she was traveling alone) and she was asking out loud "I'm in India, where's Krishna, where's Krishna?" She found an ashram (temple) a few minutes later, met the "spiritual master" and fell in love. She's planning on going back there. He's 10 years older.
I am very worried for her-she is still very innocent and has some naivete'-very romantic about the nature of the world. Please pray for her salvation, that God would use me to touch her life and plant some seeds.

Number 2-Mama Love.
Very sweet traveler I met at the coffeehouse-her and her boyfriend come every week. She's pregnant, and due in 4 months. Pray for her and his salvation. God's already blessed me with the beginnings of a real friendship with her.

And a prayer request for us-we have the money to move, praise God! now we just need a place! We're checking out a few places, pray that we will know which ones to pursue, and that it'll be perfect for outreach-we don't want to move again! Or move til it's perfect.
I miss all of you

the beautiful Land

I will never feel closer to God and as young, as when I go, driving through the redwoods at night with my children sleeping in the back of the car, the cool fresh smell of the redwoods in the spring blowing through my car.

Still Cute

Princess 1



Princess 2



Princess 3

Daddy's girl

ROAR!!!!!!!!!!!

BEST BABYSITTER EVER


Seriously. I had no fear leaving my kids with Renae. And that's saying alot. I love watching her with my kids. How can you not love someone who sighs with delight over your children and says they give her baby fever? I was so blessed to have her down here for two weeks. It felt like such a holiday because she was here. And I knew my kids would have a great time with her here alone when I was in the hospital. I am so thankful to have Renae for a friend. I called her at 8:00ish at night and she drove all the way down here from the Land (a six hour trip) and was our slave for two weeks. She truly is WonderWoman-which reminds me, for those who don't know-she has a blog-www.lastsinglewomanstanding.blogspot.com The name of her blog is WonderWoman.

Life as a mother of three

Is driving with one hand so I can keep the pacifier in the baby's mouth with the other. Is running to the kitchen to grab some toast and cheese and then running back to bed because the baby is still hungry and screaming. Is feeling overwhelmed and undone, but at the same time giddy with joy and overflowing with thankfulness. 5 years ago I was a girl. Now I am a woman with three beautiful daughters. Wow.

This birth was much different then the other two. I have never taken childbirth classes. The closest I came was during this pregnancy, from all the studying I did as part of my doula training. I never knew about breathing or coping rituals. And I actually had a doula this time, to walk me though both. Well, actually just the breathing. The coping ritual just kinda started on it's own-I think because it's the first birth I felt completely free. I was terrified before I went into labor, and when it first started I was still pretty darn scared. But having the doula there, as someone who would hold me to the desire I had of not taking pain medication, forced me to cope and give in to the contractions. When it first started, we walked out to the garden and I remembered what my friend Rachel said about picturing herself soaring above each contraction. That only worked for about three contractions before I needed something more intense. But during those three contractions, feeling the sun on my face and the warm wind blowing, i felt such a thankfulness that my face didn't hurt, or my arms or legs. I gave thanks for the blessings I had right then.
I knew I was going into transition because I started feeling nauseous, so I told my doula Colette I needed to get back into the room. We got back and I went to my knees on the floor. She was coaching my through, telling me to breathe, and unclenching my hands when I would start to tense up at the beginning. I remember thinking "I hope i'm in transition because this is INTENSE." The contractions were 2-3 minutes apart right then. And the slow breathing just wasn't cutting it. So i switched into a high gear version and started blowing raspberries non-stop. I had an oxygen mask on too, later on, and Nathan said I looked like a pilot but sounded like a motor boat. I had been reading about estatic birth, and feeling highly skeptical and highly envious,
I asked God to give me that experience. Well, after I started the motor thing, the contractions started feeling amazing. I got really warm and my face was tingling like crazy. It definately required all my attention, and I had to keep up the motor lips or i started slipping, but I had a really good time. And after they put the oxygen mask on my face, It felt even more amazing. It's amazing how much the whole birth experience colors your perception of having kids. Hannah's birth was so hard, I thought, never again. And I was so tired. After this birth, I was feeling on top of the world. I can't believe it was only an hour and a half. I just want to give thanks to God for casting out my fear and giving me a taste of heaven.

Baby Sunshine

I feel rich. My sweet flower girls. I was holding all three of them earlier and that feeling of being incredibly wealthy swept over me.

my red babies

Isabella Zionne


Shoshannah Mercy


Abigail Lynn Sunshine