Abigail has restored my youth
I feel good

cutie pie

Happy Bella

ABIGAIL LYNN SUNSHINE CROMPTON
Born April 20th at 11:26 am, after an hour and a half labor (yay!)
7 pounds 11 ounces
20 inches long
Totally precious
our first baby with black hair!

BEST FRIENDS #2

Those darn trees

No-no new baby yet. I have been unreachable and MIA because of a Douglas Fir. One fell outside our window onto a transformer and pole and took out our power and phone. We just got our phone back today-it's been out since wednesday. Of course, everyone elses phone was fixed yesterday-ours had a bit more trouble. They only fixed it today cuz I'm so pregnant- they would have waited til the 28th if I wasn't. I can go into labor now without freaking out! We have a phone, so I can call someone to watch the kids. We got a car yesterday (an AWESOME car, the best we've ever had) so I don't have to worry about calling a taxi when I'm in labor. I'm 38 weeks today. Anytime now, I'm so excited.
I used to really love trees. Now I'm starting to resent them. If they would only stay in one place!!!!!! Or should I hate the rain? Because that's when they fall-when it's been pouring. Maybe I should just hate the rain, cuz it's already on my "things that annoy Sara list." Along with all the mold it brings. Seriously, raising kids in a place where it rains alot is HARD. Everyday I find new mold patches to bleach. I'm constantly throwing away clothes that have molded just from being in the laundry hamper. Cute clothes, that melted my heart to see Bella and Hnnah wear. I'm going to stop complaining now. Life is good. Baby Abigail will soon be in my arms, I have the cutest kids in the world and the best husband ever. And Jesus draws nme closer every day.

Spoiled

that's the word running through my mind, over and over. Is blessed a better word? yesterday was so amazing. I think I have just about the sweetest husband a girl can have. He is so unfailingly sweet when it comes to ways he can bless me. He knocked my socks off(i hate that expression, but oh well) yesterday. After I wrote that entry yesterday, the day started filling with blessings from all different directions. From the inbox of my e-mail, to friends coming over bearing gifts. I felt very loved yesterday-and incredibly unworthy of the love that is given to me though my husband and friends. I don't know why, but I felt guilty and shamed by all the awesome presents i received yesterday. I just suck so bad, and people are so kind. But it brought to mind a lesson I am constantly learning about God-about His free and loving grace to dirty, nasty sinners. To us. It's so hard to accept when we're so unworthy.

It's actually probably a blessing in disguise I'm not around Elena this birthday- I can't have sugar, therefore I couldn't eat any cake she made. And that would be torture.

26

I'm 26 today! I crossed over to the late twenties. Weird. I was talking to a friend the other day (she's 32) and she was commenting on how young I was to have 3 kids already. I don't feel young to be on number 3. Maybe cuz I had Bella when I was 21. I wonder if I will ever feel like an adult. Adults are still are a separate category on my mind. I have to admit, the line has been blurring a little bit lately, though.
I am always so glad each year that my birthday is in the spring. It's usually so warm and beautiful. Spring is my absolute favorite.
I've been hit with a new sadness today. I have been blessed to spend most of my birthdays as a Christian at the Land, or around Prodigal Project. Land birthdays are the BEST. People pop up all day with a favorite possesion to give you because they love you so much, and at night they try to make your party a surprise and trick you to going up to the big house and Elena bakes the biggest cake ever and everyone pigs out on her wonderful baking. And the card! That's always been my favorite. I have every birthday card I've ever gotten from the Land. Everyone signs it, it's so special.
Today just seems like a regular day. Nathan is at work. I'm here. I guess that's normal. I wonder how many other ways I've been spoiled silly by living at the Land.


biggest cake ever

Wow

so, i just got a call from my friend Julia. She's a pretty new friend, i just met her a month or so ago at coffeehouse. She's another volunteer. Anyways, she worked out a plan where she's gonna borrow her friends truck and lend me her car til we get a new one. She's dropping it off tonite. I'm really blown away. I felt bad enough asking people for rides places-I would never ever dream of asking someone if I could borrow their car. Today was an especially hard day, too. The baby is super low and i've been having contractions. It was a hard day because I really started to think I was going to go into labor without a car here. I was prepping for delivering the baby by myself. The cool thing is how I was handling it. I kept a tight rein on myself and just prayed alot. I refused to freak out and willed my heart to be thankful. And I sincerely asked God for a car and then just left it at that. I figured He knows my needs. My prayer was specific, too-I asked for one today. I didn't expect that-but look how much I know!
I am really surprised to find that I do have friends down here. I was feeling like such a burden. My friend Liz has offered her time twice now to just take me to run errands. And she actually had fun helping me. And she loves my kids and thinks their great. That means alot, when you're hurting and need help, to have someone who wants to help and doesn't think you're a drag.
I had a really sweet experience this morning with Bella. After Nate went to work, I was super lonely so I took Bella out of her bed and put her in ours, then cuddled with her for a few hours. It was so sweet. That I am blessed enough to be able to lay down with my daughter and just cuddle her in the morning. I am so blessed that I am free to make them number 1.
Thanks to anyone who has been praying for us.

More of Nathan's art

Rainbows and Sparkles


So I was half serious about the joke I made about getting the car back and having another $400 problem go wrong on it. I thought that would be pretty bad.
Well, I just talked to the mechanic, and for the parts alone it would be $1200. The only reaction in my heart was laughter. When things are this bad, God always has done something to make it into rainbows and sparkles. Hey, pray for us, too, I found an apartment on Grant St, 5 houses from where we used to live, that is available April 1st. And we're getting money back from taxes, so we can actually move now. We wouldn't need a car as bad, if we lived down there.

Nathan's art

Well, i said goodbye to the pity party and decided to go back to just coping. I realized something today, though. I have been terribly, horribly, wonderfully spoiled my whole Christian walk, til we moved down here. Actually, since even before I was a Christian, by the Christians I knew. Before now, I was involved in 2 real, loving, close knit comunities. Prodigal Project and Hope church in michigan. In addition to those two communities, I was also semi-adopted into the most wonderful family on the planet- the Bells. I have been surrounded by exceptional people that have taken the bible literally, and reached out to whoever is in need, sacrificilly. Nathan and I have had so much love showered on us, when we were students at the Land being discipled, to being newlyweds at Hope church, and then when we were staff again at the Land. After I had Bella the church did a rotation and made us meals for a month, cleaned my house, and brought us groceries. That was something they did for every new mom, every new baby. That's the kind of thing I'm used too. That's what I viewed as normal. But it's not. I was really angry yesterday. I've repented and realized that it matters what kind of Christian I am. I want to walk in the footsteps of all the people in my life that have poured themselves out for me and for everyone around them.

Bitterness

yup. Soooooooooooooooooooooooo bitter. I'm fighting it, but it's pretty strong right now. What does it take to get a little bit of help here? I mean, c'mon, I'm pregnant, I have gestational diabetes, I need to get my insulin and FOOD. NO ONE I've called for a ride seems like they even care that they're saying no. I'm not asking for a ride to go have fun or anything. I'm deeply hurt that I can't seem to get help from anyone, and my heart is trying to protect itself from the pain by producing bitterness. And what makes it worse is it's so humiliating. I HATE asking for help-especially when I know i'll probably get turned down. Please pray for me, I really need more insulin, I need to get to costco, and I have a doctors appointment Friday. Our van came home last night and had to go back in today. We get an estimate tommorow.
Oh man. I'm really sad.

OH YEAH, I'M CUTE




AFTER A NIGHT OF THROWING UP

PRECIOUS

Life is hard right now, but it's such a managable hard I've actually been really grateful. I've been learning what I really need to function-and it's not very much. I've been discovering strength in myself i thought was gone. There was no sarcasm in my last few posts-I'm truly, honestly grateful for all the things that have made the hard things easy.
Oh, by the way, our van is fixed!!!!!! And the mechanic shaved off a hundred dollars from the price he quoted me.

God's Timing


This is a gift from the Lord that constantly amazes me. Bella and Hannah and I all had the stomach flu this past week. Bella got it first, then me, then Hannah. But with no overlapping. God knows I couldn't have handled them both being sick at once. And I definately couldn't have taken care of them-the shape I was in. And it just happened to be Nate's day off, the day I got sick. So he took care of me all day, and watched the kids. Then, as soon as I laid down last night to go to sleep, feeling SO much better, Hannah started throwing up. It's interesting, cuddling a sick toddler all night in their fire truck toddler-sized bed. I always sleep with the kids when their sick, and as Hannah's bed has a plastic sheet and ours doesn't, hers was the obvious choice. It's so amazing how much comfort I bring her, just by holding her in my arms. Everything I do now is laying a foundation for what kind of relationship we'll have when their older. Hannah won't remember me sleeping in her bed with her, comforting her all night as she threw up, and losing almost a whole nights sleep myself. But it builds into her associating me with comfort and support. I love my girls.

I am truly, honestly, grateful for a few things right now.

1-I have a bathtub to do laundry in.

2-It has a shower attachment

3-I have a seemingly endless supply of hot water

4-I don't have to heat water to do laundry

5-That I even have running water

6-That I have antibacterial soap to wash the laundry with

Praise God