Saturday, August 05, 2006

Baby Etiquette

I'm used to people cooing over my babies. I start to get on edge when they try to touch them. I get very edgy when they actually succeed at touching them. But I had a scary (to me) experiemce last night that puts me way past edgy. Nathan and I were just standing in downtown santa cruz and this girl I know at the mission came out of nowhere and put her hand on Abby's face then tried to KISS her. I jumped back about a foot in shock and fended her off with one hand. She's come up before and touched her cheek, and I hate it, but I haven't said anything. But last night really got me to thinking. We're down here to minister to a certain culture. And some of them live on the street-the girl that invaded my space lives in the woods in a tent. That's really scary to me. I don't like any stranger touching my kids, period, no matter who they are. But I definately don't want someone who lives in the woods and on the streets touching my kids. But I can't just leave Abby at home, either. So what do I do? Where do I draw the line? I am a huggy person, but I am very protective of my personal space, and Abby is solidly in my personal space. But where is the line drawn when it's ok to offend someone because I'm not comfortable? I need to put her in my other sling so she's closer-and I'm going to make big buttons-one that says "DON'T TOUCH MY BABY" and one for her that says "DON'T TOUCH ME"

7 comments:

devon said...

Icky! I might have yelped. You are doing good, and the buttons are a fine idea. Make em really friendly and happy looking, it should go over just fine.

Elena said...

Yeah, they should say,"PLEASE don't touch my baby!" or, "thank you for not touching my baby" or "I BITE!" or even better "I BITE STRANGERS!" or...

Lisa said...

I don't know what I would have done. I think I read in one of those baby magazines that you can sound less offensive if you make it sound like "it's not you, it's me." I guess like,"Oh I'm sorry, I'm really weird about germs/people touching my kids. Babies are just so vulnerable." I don't know. But hey, you do what you gotta do and shrieking and running probably works even better.

Rae said...

I usually just start slapping.

1weirdgirl said...

i wonder if it would work for some people, if you just got all up in THEIR face and started touching THEM all imposingly...
this sort of thing frustrates me to no end...
especially at the flat, when someone was 'watching' adora for me, and i come back in the room and some total stranger is HOLDING her!!!!
AHHHH!!! talk about abruptly offending someone!!!
i'd like burst in and rip her out of their hands, and if the said 'watcher' was in the room i'd throw 'em a dirty look and blurt a mean sarcastic 'thanks'
it's hardest with little ones in strollers... people seem to come out of nowhere
if i'm holding her it's usually easy enough to move out of reach, people usually get even suttle hints like that, and then i'll try starting a conversation to show that i don't hate them, i'm just holding a BABY not a petting ZOO....

bethany said...

hey....befor i got pregnant i was on the verge of asking this girl if i could hold her baby(a 8 week old) because i was just dieing of the baby needs. I remembered how uncomfortable it was for me to tell people no, so i didnt ask....plus what weirdo asks to hold a baby while ringing up your drink order at a coffee shop!!! talk about shreiking and running!
no tip for me

Anonymous said...

I sympathize with you! People in India are notorious for touching and pinching the babies though they usually don't kiss their cheeks... occasionally at the supermarket and man sails in, kisses her cheek and then rushes off on his way. I have learned to deal with touching and pinching (light pinching) as I would go out of my mind otherwise, but the kissing makes me angry--especially when it's a man. I seriously don't know what to do. I think Rae had the right idea...:-)