purple hair time

Abigail received 6 pairs of these socks at her baby shower.


They cost $50-so roughly $8 a pair. I was confused, irritated and surprised that baby socks could cost that much, and that anyone would pay that much for baby socks.
They were a fertile source of mockery.

I have had to revise that opinion this past week. These socks DON"T FALL OFF. Yeah, so they cost $50 dollars, but the money you save by not having to replace lost socks makes up for it. There wonder socks. And cute as can be, as well. I highly recommend them.

a new Crompton baby (aka my christmas present)



Nathan labored for this one though-for four months!
long live work trade

this is a 15 minute walk from my house. It looks like italy, doesn't it?
I love this area

Bored

I'm so bored. OK, Elena and Devon and Lisa and Renae E and Renae R, right now would be the perfect time for you to drop in-if you lived in Santa Cruz. By the way, why aren't you living in Santa Cruz? C'mon now. More expensive, yes, but oh so worth it. But it would be so much sweeter if you guys lived here.
Hey, i'll make you espresso! And cook you dinner!

I went out yesterday to buy a Christmas tree. We have never bought a cut Christmas tree. I fully intended to buy a 3-4 foot one. I came home with a 6-7 footer. Hee hee. It's nice. It's funny what makes me feel like a grown-up. Or at least like I'm playing the grown-up game. This is definitely one of those things. It's right next to the computer desk, and it smells wonderful.
I've never been interested in decorating, or any holiday traditions. But having kids that are makes all the difference. They love it. And i am having so much fun with it because they get such a kick out of it. Now, if I can just keep Abigail from eating the pine needles.............

It's 2:50 in the morning. My little Abigail is following in her sister's footsteps.
She is wide awake, happy and trying to bounce off my lap.
i am nearing exhaustian. Belle and Hannah are also awake, even though they've been in bed for HOURS. Abigail keeps laughing at them, trying to make them play with her.
My sweet, sweet, funny little girls. Sure am glad i had that double espresso at 9:00.
And hopeful that they'll actually sleep in and let me rest.
If not, well, i have lots of experience functioning in zombie mode.

Best Friends #4
If there was ever a doubt they were sisters...............

Random Cuteness

Abigail Sunshine
funny times, funny times

IS BUTTER A CARB?

i'm giving up fighting, defending, analyzing.
i'm gonna rest in the arms of Jesus and give up everything else.
i'm not really giving up. i'm surrendering.

Melancholy Chorus
by Tree by Leaf

Everything that starts
someday comes to screeching halts.
sleight of hand
screen door slammed
holograph in the promised land

you left me no choice but this
Extended wrist Judas kiss
All things bright and glorious
join the Melancholy chorus

it's Sad it's Sad
we're awfully sad
thought we had what we did not have

it's sad it's sad
i'm awfully sad
thought I had what I did not have

Twas a violent death they said
to fall from there and hit your head
Each of us in crowded square
Smell of death hung in the air

We never know the things we do
To plan a life Feed the truth
place most dark in that which is true
This is the song of the black and the Blue

Low it's low
we're very Low
Just forgot what we did not know
Low it's low
i'm very low
Just forgot what I did not know

It's sad it's sad
We're awfully sad
thought we had what we did not have

It's sad it's sad
I'm awfully sad
thought I had what i did not have

a wise little paper on Unity, by Matt Barker

Jesus not only sees how a person is,but who he is going to be in response to the love poured and recieved into his/ her life. This is the mind of Christ, to love despite Judgement of shortcomings. To be wise in the pouring of Love with awareness to surrounding situations and circumstances of individuals. To be an offering with no agenda but to meet a child of God where He/she truly needs to be met. This, I urge you to adhere to, takes much prayer and a true desire to know what troubles a child of God. So often we want to look for the immediate solution and I do believe that the Lord gives "words of knowledge" but I also strongly believe the Lord desires to call us into relationship. This means that many of the struggles "we" minister to people in are not going to just be resolved, they must be walked through in relationship. WE must truly learn how to be ministers of the Gospel of Jesus Christ. We must search beyond our comfort zone, we must truly love a person. In this many times the saying may be true, "out of sight, out of mind." Living Life in Unity
If combined a word of knowledge and true fellowship will be tools in freeing a person from bondage and bringing them closer to Christ in a way that is written in their heart. A seed planted, watered and Grown. at times we must do all three. Rarely only one consistantly.

PLanting seeds- single serving conversations about the Lord. Powerful words of knowledge and prayer.

Watering- If you don't give a plant water consistantly it will wither. Pouring out love through wisdom on a consistant basis.

Growing- The Lord ultimately works all three, through ways I belive at times only He can truly understand. I believe the growth process is the stage of Decipleship. When we begin to grow in the LOrd. In ways we begin to recieve the first two stages over again, replanting and watering.

My point is that we must be willing to operate in all three stages of the Harvest.

Please everyone pray for me.

I feel sick

There is something freeing about being released from a friendship long gone sour. But painful and disgusting, too-like peeling a scab off a wound that has not yet healed. I guess the loss of the "dear friend" I mentioned wasn't such a loss after all- or a dear friend. I heard tonight the estimation of my character that she held in her heart. I'm not really surprised by the venom that came out tonight, just by the amount of it. The pain is light right now but I know it will come crashing down soon enough.

Division. I've never seen the enemy play such a clear hand. So much misunderstanding, lying, self-justification, downright hatred. It was sickening to watch. I have crossed the line into someone that is afraid of Christians.

We all have our shortcomings. None of us are perfect.

I'm so sad today. Last week was pretty devastating. I am being harshly judged and criticized for something I did last week, something i felt was absolutely right at the time. And the more I think about it, the more right and correct my action looks to me. And the worse the actions the main person involved took looks to me. When I think of all the ramifications involved in her action, I'm appalled that anyone could think I am in the wrong. But there it is. It makes me wonder just how much love the two people involved really had for me. I'm all for freedom to disagree, but to cut someone out of your life because they won't repent for something they don't even feel convicted for, that's horrifying. I always wondered how church splits could happen, over the most trivial seeming issues. Well, now I know. Lack of repentance, stubbornness, and prejudice, to name just a few that have been arrayed against me. I'm supposed to go to coffeehouse tonight, to do ministry, and I have no idea whether it's right for me to go or not. There should be unity, right? How can you witness about the love and peace of Jesus when two of the christians there don't want anything to do with you anymore? Avoid them? Pretend their not there? What a joke.

a quick correction- no one died, i just lost a dear friendship.

A series of Unfourtanate events

This past week has rerouted my life into a new direction, a new channel that winds away from all my old haunts, what i've built my life around the whole time we've been here. Through a progression of different events, the culmination has resulted in the loss of two people in my life that a lot of our ministry here depended on, or at least was supported by. I lost a dear sister, and it happened so quick i'm still breathless. I feel as if this whole week has been a river that has carried me strongly to one conclusion. And here I am, wondering where i go from here, as I am at the beginning again. At the beginning, with so many of my supports and old ties cut away.

Is everything fresh, or stale? Should I be greatful for the new slate, or on my bed sobbing my heart out?

my baby

Finally a Doula

I met a couple last spring at Farmers Market. They were selling tie-dyes trying to make money and I was massively pregnant with Abigail. The girl got really excited when she saw my belly and told me she had just found out she was pregnant. I love pregnant women. Nothing kills my shyness quicker. They introduced themselves as Mama Love and Cosmo, and i saw them at coffeehouse a few more times, and they made it up to our place in Ben Lomond once, before they took off for the rainbow gathering. Love showed a really strong attraction to being around Christians, so I told her how to get a hold of friends of ours that were going to be there, in the hopes that she'd really connect with them. She didn't, and as they were going to Wyoming to live and get ready for their baby, I thought i'd never see them again.
I was walking down the street after coffeehouse one night and who happened down the street, but Mama Love and Cosmo. And this time, they had her son with them, a two year old boy, and she was weeks away from her due date. They came back to try to find a place here. We got to help them out a little bit here and there, and she called me last sunday to tell me her water broke. Monday night when I talked to them their hadn't been much progress, so I went up to see what I could do. I ended up leaving 2 hours later, but they called me back before I even left the parking lot.
I stayed, with Abigail, til 6:00 in the morning. I went back around 11:30, again with Abigail, and she had her baby at 2:10.

It was awesome. I thought I would be clueless and afraid, but it was the most natural thing ever. She really didn't need much help, so it was a perfect first time. And Abigail was perfect! I didn't know I could do it with a baby along.

Please pray for this little family, they are in a hotel right now, still looking for a place. They can come stay here if they need to, but they really want an apartment of their own.

What Bella"s been up too lately

my pretty lil Hannah
emanating cuteness

6 MONTHS

Wow. my baby is 6 months old. Last friday on october 20. I wanted to do something special so i took the girls to the butterfly grove. Every year Monarch Butterflies migrate and every year they come to this one eucalyptus grove at a state park called Natural Bridges. There's thousands of butterflies. Very cool. I thought Isabella and Hannah would be thrilled. I was so wrong. They couldn't have cared less. I took them to the little museum/gift shop after, and they had a ball. The highlight for me was when they walked up to a display case containing ONE dead butterfly, and went bonkers with excitement. LOOK MOM! A BUTTERFLY! Already catalouged in my "funny, inexplicable things my kids have done" mental file cabinet.
Isabella is getting so big and she surprises me every day with how intricate and deep her mind is. I am the mom of a almost kindergardner, someone i can hold conversations with and explain things too. She's getting so independant.
Hannah is my anxious little helper. I want to pick some verses out and print them out and hang them up, just for reminders, and so as I was reading my bible this morning she was sitting on the table, holding my pen, ready to hand it to me.
She is quite the little comedian too.
Abigail is my chill little momma's girl. Everythings all good as long as i'm holding her. I keep waiting for Nathan to be able to watch her for longer than 10 minutes without her freaking out, but she just wants me. She's staying little so much longer than my other two, i can hardly believe she's 6 months old. She is just now fitting 3-6 months well.

Motherhood is so wonderful when i am living for my kids.

if we had a boy, he'd probably look like
this

Costco

Ok, OK , if you know me at all, you know I LOVE COSTCO. But it's getting rather silly to me lately. I was looking at phones, cause ours keep acting weird, and there wasn't one pack with less than 3 phones-some had 5. We need one phone. That's it. One phone.
And their jars of mayonaise! Jeez. They just built a new safeway right up the street from us too. It's can fit 2 and a half of the old size safeway inside. It has a starbucks, a jamba juice, and a huge food deli. Costco was all good when we lived at the Land, but i find myself cutting back on stuff we buy there cuz it's just too dang much. I'm sick of American size portions.

Get this video and more at MySpace.com

A wedding that made me happy-and gave me a new sister

Jen and Justin Crompton
September 17 2006



Witnessing this marriage was rather extraordinary for many reasons. The first, and overwhelming one was the fact that both have struggled with almost fatal injuries. Justin was in a car accident while biking, and was run over-his helmet was all that saved his head from being crushed. His family was told in succesion that he wouldn't live, then that he would never walk or talk again. He graduated college with a degree, and is now married to the sweetest girl ever.
Jen had leukemia and had to undergo chemo. She had been 'clean' for 3 years now-the time limit they put on survivors to be declared cured.
It's just amazing to see two people who God has touched in such amazing ways being joined together. They have shared so much of the same experiences.
And i love gaining such a great girl as a sister!'
And it was pretty cool seeing my shy Nathan walking down the aisle in a tux. He was the best man.

Three little girls that make me VERY happy

2 videos that make me happy

Cape Cod




land of mystery and wonder
just kidding.

But it's pretty darn sweet. Nathan and I actaully walked across this bridge together as newlywed honeys. I loved Massachusetts enough already, without being married to someone who grew up there and still claims it as home.
We leave tonight! So excited. Not as excited as Bella, but close.
I used to think of Massachusetts as my home, too, so going there is a little like going home, too.

Processing

The story of my life lately. Processing, analyzing, organizing and taking out the trash. My mind and life feels like my mom's attic. So packed you have to take everything out to find anything. Filled with old things, things that are molding and falling apart, things you should have gotten rid of YEARS ago, but couldn't let go or forgot you had. I have been praying for God to clean me, to streamline my life, make me more efficient. My mind feels like a messy house that you can't quite get on top of and keep clean. I feel like I am failing in every aspect of my life, and I am, quite frankly, freaking out. And breaking. But I am hoping that this is just a major spring cleaning and that this is what I have to go through to clean house. I am so majorly, newly (again) aware of my massive need for God and his mercy and love and wisdom.
I really need balance. I need to know what God has called me to, and what He hasn't.
I've gotten used to being the mother of toddlers and baby's, but Bella is not a baby or toddler anymore. She is almost out of preschool age and i feel like that has snuck up on me. Where did the time go? It takes a whole new level of discipline to be the mother of an almost 5 year old-especially since i plan on homescholing.
Please pray for me, that i can be that girl again that could get up at 4 every morning and work 2 jobs. That God would give me supernatural powers to be the best mom ever. That I would know who I am called to help-and who I'm not.
I feel so lazy, and my main thought every day, (for those of you who've read Laura Ingalls,) is "how on earth did the mom's work as hard as they did?"

Something worth visiting Michigan for.
and i finally found the recipe.

Lebanese garlic sauce.

2 bulbs garlic
1 cup oil (olive oil, if you want to be real healthy)
juice from one lemon
salt to taste (at least a teaspoon.)

Use a blender. Blend the garlic, then add the oil slowly.
Add fresh lemon juice. Blend til thick and white.
Eat with anything garlic tastes good with.
I dipped pizza in it last night and it was great.

IT WILL BURN YOUR MOUTH.
if you are anything like Renae, or Bella, you'll keep forcing it down anyways cuz it's gooood. Good enough to travel 3000 miles for. And i found out today that people eat the same ingredients together to do a liver flush. Super bonus.

MOM and DAD





I find myself really missing my parents-again. Being a mother, myself-for 5 years now, has changed my outlook so much. Has gentled me so much in my judgement of my parents.-and changed my perception on things I thought they did wrong but realize now that they were just doing their best. I find myself thinking back to my childhood, now that Bella is older, and old enough now to remember what happens now, when she's older. My mom was so sweet. She did so much with us. The zoo, Greenfield village ( a wonderful fake old fashioned town park thing) Making every holiday incredible, always ready to fight our battles, I could go on and on. We were her whole life. She taught me how to read before I was in kindergarten.
Now that I'm teaching Bella the basics, I realize what a task that was. Now that I'm raising my children, I realize what a huge task that is, and how hard it is to be a parent. sure, my parents made mistakes. But everyone makes mistakes. I wish I had the wisdom then that I had now-to see the love behind all my mom's and dad's actions.
To see their actions in a different light-and not to view everything as negative or condemning. My mom is sick now, and worn down, and partly because of her service to me and my brothers. When we all were sick, she would still be going, taking care of all of us. She worked so hard-I wish that I didn't feel like it was too late to give her all the honor she deserves. If you are reading this, mom, dad, I love you and i'm grateful that you are my parents. Thank you for all your love.

I think there's been a consensus on the whole "stranger touching my baby, what should i do?" issue.
Judging from the comments, I think slapping is the winner.

I miss Alias

Party Time for baby Sunshine




party over

Stomach Flu strikes again

Baby Etiquette

I'm used to people cooing over my babies. I start to get on edge when they try to touch them. I get very edgy when they actually succeed at touching them. But I had a scary (to me) experiemce last night that puts me way past edgy. Nathan and I were just standing in downtown santa cruz and this girl I know at the mission came out of nowhere and put her hand on Abby's face then tried to KISS her. I jumped back about a foot in shock and fended her off with one hand. She's come up before and touched her cheek, and I hate it, but I haven't said anything. But last night really got me to thinking. We're down here to minister to a certain culture. And some of them live on the street-the girl that invaded my space lives in the woods in a tent. That's really scary to me. I don't like any stranger touching my kids, period, no matter who they are. But I definately don't want someone who lives in the woods and on the streets touching my kids. But I can't just leave Abby at home, either. So what do I do? Where do I draw the line? I am a huggy person, but I am very protective of my personal space, and Abby is solidly in my personal space. But where is the line drawn when it's ok to offend someone because I'm not comfortable? I need to put her in my other sling so she's closer-and I'm going to make big buttons-one that says "DON'T TOUCH MY BABY" and one for her that says "DON'T TOUCH ME"

Just for anyone who's curious-I went with the red. We bleached it first. I highly recommend bleaching your dreds (if you have them,and you're into cheating) it accelerates the maturity process at least 6 months. At least.

this week in pictures